Random Journal

Out of the blue. Another journal entry. I just can’t get enough.

Truth. It is whatever you believe. I have a bio on my website and a bio in The Great Beyond book. Sure, I’m old, and I’m the old man to my kids. But I’m not really that old. I’m old, but I’m not that old. I choose to deceive people that I’m much older. Yes, I’m a public figure, but I’m done. I just want to have fun. I’m not interested in ceremonial duties, signing autographs, or shaking hands with babies. Maybe I did celebrate my 150th birthday this year. It’s possible.

The truth is everything sucks. My books suck. Your books suck. What really happened? My so-called “magazine” was a bomb. I don’t know. I thought the writing was pretty good. Maybe just too many releases. But man, The Bomb is a dope house music track by the artist Kenny Dope’s musical production team the Bucketheads, released in 1995. No Country for Old Men, but I haven’t seen it.

The Tragically Hip weren’t tragic and it’s debatable as to whether they were hip. But if you got old hips, you dig The Tragically Hip. And they’re a Canadian band.

Top 5 Tragically Hip Songs:

1. “Small Town Bringdown” by The Tragically Hip ‧ 1987.
2. “Blow at High Dough” by The Tragically Hip ‧ 1989.
3. “Little Bones” by The Tragically Hip ‧ 1991.
4. “Fully Completely” by The Tragically Hip ‧ 1992.
5. “Yer Not The Ocean” by The Tragically Hip ‧ 2006.

Then the record player stopped working. The TV stopped working. Everything stopped working, but not really; it was just that I was getting old.

There were eleven angry old men sitting in front of the television, and not one of them could figure out how to use the remote control. They pressed every button except the right one, turning the volume up, changing the language, opening menus, and somehow making the screen completely disappear.

The remote was passed around the room, almost like evidence in a criminal investigation. Each man insisted he knew exactly what he was doing, yet every attempt made things worse. One accidentally turned on closed captions, another switched the old TV to a streaming service nobody had heard of, and a third somehow ordered a movie. Soon a woman from inside the TV set jumped into the room with the eleven old men and destroyed the TV with a hammer.